No longer waitressing. Sigh.

Okay, so I'm no longer waitressing! I've moved on to bigger and better things! Yeah!

Okay, so maybe not 'better'. Depends on what you define 'better' as, really.

I get benefits at my new job, double the hours, and PAID BREAKS. You have NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE MY BREAKS. And I get my own cubicle!

But I will admit, I miss my old customers. I just went in for breakfast at the restaurant today, and everyone I had ever served and gotten to know was waving to me and smiling and talking to me. And I kind of miss them. They're all hard working guys with a sweet disposition and a great sense of humor (and they tipped pretty good!). 

Now I sit in a cubicle with a headset on, dealing with whiny people on the phone. Sometimes I'll get the sweethearts on the phone, but there's definitely a wonderful thing about getting someone who knows you by name and says hello to you every day.

Oh well. It's a fairly even trade. 

Slower than a fat kid at a weight watchers convention

Have you ever been able to read an entire newspaper, eat a leisurely lunch, and endlessly chat with your coworkers during a shift? That's EXACTLY what I had the pleasure to do yesterday. That's how slow it was. I made half of what I usually make in a shift, and it pisses me off. I have no fucking clue why it was so slow, either. I seriously thought about going outside waving a sign that said we're open. I mean, the parking lot was DEAD. Damn.

So yeah. That's all.

Please. For the love of god. LISTEN.

When I ask you what you want to drink, please, please PLEASE don't say "menu". I get you want a menu. But really I think you should have something to drink first, if you're so dehydrated you can't listen to and answer a simple question. 

Wait .5 seconds for your menu, so I can make sure you don't pass out from stupid.

Kthx!

-Crazyasswaitress 

Please don't pour coffee on me.

Coffee hurts.

Table walk outs and emoness.

I was working our Back section. Here's the layout. One round table that seats 6 but fits 8. A three four-tops. A two-top, and a 6-top long table. The round table, long table, and one of the four tops are on one side of the aisle. The other 4 tops and the two top are on the other.

At the time, I had all tables with people sitting at them. The round table had 6, one 4-top had 4, another had 3, and another had 2. The two top was occupied. The long 6-top had one elderly person at it that usually sit there. 

Yesterday, I was working. We had just had a huge rush (on a Thursday afternoon, people pouring out the door, wtf?), and I had one table out of them finally pay and leave. Cool. The avaliable table was a four top. I had a group of nine walk back into my section when I was taking tickets at the register. I wtf'd as I didn't have a table available for them. I went back there, and they had taken up the avaliable 4-top, two of the seats on the table next to them (literally sitting at the table this poor couple is at. Apparently they 'offered' the spot, but who in their right mind says "OH YEAH WE'LL TAKE YOUR HALF-TABLE ASDFGHJKL"). They had also cannibalized chairs from another table (I think the long table for 6)

All in all, they had 9 people at a table and a half, and even if that WAS ok, the area would only seat 6.

I stopped and said "I'm sorry, we can't have you seated like that. It violates the local fire codes" (Which it does, along with making it impossible for me to serve them anything.) They start saying "SO YOU WON'T SERVE US?" or somesuch garbage. My memory can be horrible when it comes to other people's dialogue. I tell them that it's out of my hands, but if they want to wait a few minutes, I'm sure we could find them a seat. One of them turned to me and said "So you want us to walk out!?" And I said "No, but if you'd like to wait, I'm sure we'll have space" So they gurglesnarled and walked out. Sure, I lost a big table, but I found out later from our cook that they tried to do the same thing last week and walked out, too.

Sigh.

Short rant

Dear irritating black guy,
No, we don't have cappuccino. We have coffee. Plain old black coffee (now avaliable in DECAF!). No, we don't have fancy-ass flavored creamers. NO WE DON'T HAVE CAPPUCCINO. STOP ASKING. SEE THOSE POTS!? THE BLACK AND THE ORANGE ONES?! THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE. We're a place famous for giving you a plate of food for $3. We're not gonna have a cappuccino machine. Or flavored creamer. We have enough trouble getting our boss to order REGULAR creamer. Please stop asking.

Love,
Crazyasswaitress <3

Christian Tracts; I hate them

I figure I went through another waitress initiation today; the recieving of the Chick Tract.

This guy was nice about it though. He wanted to talk to me about Christianity. That's all well and good... but I was busy and had things to do (y'know.... working?)

Well, he handed me the million dollar Chick tract. He talked about it for a bit, and I accepted it. At least he wasn't a dick and stuck it under the plate to give me hope that he gave me a $10 tip.

Instead, he left $0.35 Yep, 35 cents and a chick tract.

If you haven't recieved one yet, they look something like this;

They have random celebrities on them, and all in all, they're just rather tacky.

Sure, they work on some people (I'm sure they MUST, or those things would be completely pointless.), but they sure as shit don't work on me. Especially when you're trying to practice your schpiel on someone who doesn't want to hear it, and then tipping me BADLY. I haven't had a tip that bad since "white toast is brown" guy.

So, thanks for the random piece of paper, and for reminding me why I hate people who want to take valuable time out of your life to try and convert you (when you're already of said opinion/religion). It's like...

Clueless dude:"Do you like pie?"

You: "Uh... yeah?"

Clueless dude:"Well, here ten reasons you should like pie!" 

You: "I already said I like pie."

Clueless dude: "Well, here's a pamphlet on the awesomeness of pie!!!"

You: "I hate you."

Seriously. Take religion out of it, and add pie, and you made this conversation much more amusing. And slightly less irritating.